Well I might as well go ahead and say. I’m suffering from a broken heart. This is why lately I have not been my positive, upbeat, “onward” motivated self. I guess a broken heart can really halt a person’s life temporarily. Your world kind of turns upside down and everything that was once routine and normal, is now completely thrown out the window. You have to change and adapt, and do it fast because life doesn’t wait. And if you don’t adapt quickly, which most of us don’t (this is normal), we feel like we are going to fall apart. And maybe that’s exactly what we need to do sometimes, so we can pull ourselves back together again in an even stronger way than before.
I probably would sound like a complete hypocrite if I sugar-coated everything I was going through and wrote a post about how we should all stay positive and try to be happy during our times of complete brokenness just like many other self help writers would do. So I’m not going to do that. And I know deep down those writers who do write posts like that are only trying to motivate others to not wallow in their sorrows, but you know deep down if and when they do go through their own kind of heartbreak, they aren’t sitting there in complete bliss and happiness eating nutritious meals, getting tons of rest, and doing positive activities. You know they are just like the rest of us eating the pint of Ben & Jerry’s and watching The Notebook.
So let’s cut the crap and find things that actually do make us feel better when we’re singing the blues. I know, I know, healthy eating and all of that stuff really does help, but maybe we can take it a bit deeper than just surface level “feel good” to get us back into our groove and up and running again.
1. Go ahead and reach for the chocolate!
Yup. That’s right. You know you’re craving it. So go ahead and chomp on a few bars. Now, I’m not saying go overboard and get chocolate wasted but it’s ok to self medicate once in a while with this wonderful God given creation. Chocolate is known to boost serotonin in the brain, which helps fight off depression. So go for it! I give you permission.
2. Be extra kind, loving, and patient with yourself.
For the next few days, weeks, months, or whatever, you are not going to be you. You are going to feel a whole new range of emotions and it’s going to suck. So be extra kind, loving, and patient with yourself during this time. I mean it. This is no time for self pity or self blame or self hate or any of that self destructive behavior. This is a chance for you to truly be your own best friend. Get to know yourself on a whole new level. And treat yourself in a loving manner, a way that you really deserve.
3. Go for a walk to clear your head.
I’m not saying you have to go out and break a sweat (unless you want to) but the simple act of walking is a meditation in itself. Do it preferably somewhere quiet and serene. Be present with your surroundings. Notice things that you wouldn’t normally notice. Clear your head of any negative thoughts or worries. Plus the movement really helps make the brain focus elsewhere rather than sitting with all your unwanted thoughts.
4. Journaling really helps.
Ok so you may not be a writer, or maybe you are, but either way, journaling out your thoughts and feelings really does help! I’ve always found journaling to be a very releasing type activity. Writing is great because one, it won’t get annoyed with you if you go on for hours and two, you can write whatever you want, however crazy it is, and no one has to see it or judge you for it.
You’ll thank me for it. I know it’s going to be hard to sleep and you may even cry half the night, but try your best to find some sort of rest. Even if you are just laying on the ground with your eyes closed listening to some quiet, peaceful music. Rest is good for your body and your mind. It will help you get stronger. When you don’t get enough of it, that’s when the situation just becomes worse because all of those physical symptoms from exhaustion start to arise.
6. Do not disconnect.
I know usually I like to be an advocate for disconnecting from things. Learning how to be ok on your own or find happiness within yourself. But right now support is your life line. People will help you get through it, especially the ones that truly care for you like your friends and family. Do not isolate yourself from them. Force yourself to go out and talk. And it’s ok if you’re not your usual self around them, the beauty is they will understand! And while it is important to allow yourself to move through the process of grief, it is still equally important not to withdraw from life and the people who really do love you.
The Self Love Daily Challenge #036: Be loving to yourself even through suffering.
To all you beautiful souls who may be experiencing some sort of suffering right now, my prayer is for you all to find peace in your hearts, love that will surround you, and kindness for yourself.