I was feeling a bit lonely today. I had this urge to go out and hang out with friends but no one was available tonight, so I was faced with the dilemma of having to spend time alone in my own company. Most of the time, I’m ok with this. I have things to do. I write. I read. I watch a few things on Netflix. I catch up with the news feed on Facebook. But there are those moments when the loneliness does settle in. When you realize that you really don’t feel like reading another book or watching another episode or checking your Facebook for the thousandth time. You crave company. You crave people. But sometimes it’s not an option. Sometimes you are faced with simply being alone with yourself. And it can be saddening in a way, but i’m realizing that it doesn’t have to be. That if you can learn to enjoy your own company, you will never feel alone. Because once you begin to enjoy being with yourself, you will no longer feel as deep of a loneliness as you once felt. Sure, you may still crave human connection, but you will begin to find that you may actually enjoy those moments alone too.
What is the benefit of enjoying your own company? Well, first of all it can be a time for your to truly connect with yourself. To find what you deep desires are in that current moment. Are you tired? Are you stressed? Are you sad? Are you anxious? Find what you are feeling and try to become in tune with what your body and spirit are craving. Maybe you need rest. Maybe you need some pampering. Maybe you need a good laugh. Maybe your mind is craving knowledge. Find what it is that you are currently seeking after and go do it. You have the time. No one is there to bother you. This is your time to be a little selfish and satisfy your inner cravings.
When you’re alone you have every opportunity to really take care of yourself. You can do what you feel like. If you want to go out and spend an hour at the store, you can totally do that! No one is there to rush you or bother you. It’s simply just you and yourself. For the longest time I felt uneasy about spending time with just myself. I thought it was so awkward. What could I possibly do? Sure, I filled my time with a few different activities, but after a while I got bored. I just wanted to be around someone, anyone. But I think it’s really important to learn how to be alone and actually enjoy your own company. I think it’s essential in fact. Why? Because I feel that if you can learn to be alone and actually enjoy it, then you won’t be constantly seeking satisfaction from other people. You won’t try to fill that empty space within you with others. You will already be full because you will be satisfied with simply yourself, and then when you go to be with others, you won’t need them to fill any empty spaces and whatever you do receive from them will be an abundance. I think that is a much healthier way to live then constantly seeking out others to fill our empty spaces.
Let’s fill our own spaces. Let’s satisfy our own needs. I’m not saying don’t allow anyone else in your life to do nice things for you or make you feel special, but don’t allow them to be your sole provider. Don’t depend on them to give you what you need, because most of the time they won’t be capable of doing so. They will always fall short at one time or another, even if they seem completely perfect. And that’s perfectly ok. We’re not meant to satisfy each other’s needs. I know shocking right? But in reality, we’re not. God is the only one who can truly satisfy our true needs and anyone else will always fall short. Sure, they may make us happy or make us feel loved, but in the end, true satisfaction does not come from other people. It comes only from our Creator. He is the one who created us right? So He is the only one who knows what we truly need and desire.
So let’s see. How do we begin to enjoy our own company? Well first just learn to sit with yourself. Learn to ask yourself questions. See how you feel. What do you need? What do you desire? What will make you feel happy? Once you can get a sense of how you are feeling, you can begin to do what you feel is best for yourself and find what will satisfy you. Don’t be afraid to feel awkward or laugh about it. I know it can feel weird just sitting with yourself and your own company. But the more you practice, the easier it will get and the more you will begin to enjoy your own company. Remember, it’s an important aspect of loving yourself. By spending time with yourself, you are showing yourself love. You are sending a message that says, “I love you enough to spend time with you.” Isn’t that what everyone wants anyway? Quality time. To be shown that kind of love that makes you feel like you’re worth spending time with. Who says we can’t give that to ourselves every once in a while?
The Self Love Daily Challenge #047: enjoy your own company.