The most embarrassing thing to admit after claiming to be a self love advocate is that you are still having trouble actually loving yourself. I guess that is the bravest thing you could do – to admit that you are essentially bad at something you claim to know so much about. And it’s brave because you’re telling the world “here I am” regardless of how flawed or imperfect you really are, despite whatever it is you claim to know. No one is an expert. We all have places we are weak or places where we are not so good. But just because we have said places that exist within us, doesn’t mean that we are less than or not enough, it means that we are actually brave enough to decide to show our real selves to the world.
I’ve been really struggling with this blog or “self love movement” I’ve been trying to create. I don’t want to admit that because I want to seem like I’ve got it all together and know what I’m doing so I can be this role model and inspirational leader for others to follow.
I’ve noticed that I’ve placed this unnecessary pressure upon myself to do a “good job” at playing this role of “self love advocate,” “wellness blogger,” and “writer.” However, I’m recognizing that by trying to be “good” at these things rather than creating and expressing myself freely as I should, is creating prison born out of the pressure of being “good” that is ultimately killing my creativty and motivation to even keep writing sometimes. Author, Kristen Bell, once said “I am tired of being good, I want to be free.” I am tired of trying to be good, I want to be free now! And isn’t it funny how when we actually want to do a really good job at something we are passionate about it actually does the complete opposite – like trying too hard?
And trying too hard isn’t really doing the brave thing. Trying too hard is playing it safe. And when you play it safe you’re not really being yourself. You’re doing what you know will work for sure or what everybody else wants you to do or what you think everybody wants to see you do. That’s why when you go out and be yourself and create from the heart instead of from this “safe zone” it is a tremendous act of bravery. Because being your self is doing the brave thing and I haven’t been doing the brave thing lately.
Sure, I am open and honest but I’ve been playing it safe at the same time. I’ve been too worried about how my writing will be received and not worried enough about whether I am being true to myself when I write. I am worried about the numbers, the likes, the comments, the feedback, the amount of people who are responding and not worried enough about whether I am writing honestly and authentically. And because of these worries, I’ve noticed that I’ve begun to write in a way that is more about “how-to-do-this” rather than “this is me, this is my journey, and this is what I hope will inspire you.” That’s not being brave or honest. That’s writing because I want you to like what I write, and although I want you to like what I write, it shouldn’t matter to me more than writing what makes me feel true to myself. And that stuff doesn’t make me feel true. When I get to write about whatever I want without thinking twice about how it sounds, that’s when I know I am writing from my heart and not from a “marketing mindset.”
I’m realizing that you can’t place these kinds of pressures on yourself when you are creating something. You can’t worry about the end result. The only worry you should have is whether or not you are creating something real and genuine that speaks to what you believe in. The rest of it will follow. And while people may respond to the “cookie cutter” outline blogs of “how to create a better life in 10 steps”, they will respond in a greater way if you are just yourself. Because you will have given them permission to take off their own masks too and say “me too, I get it.” And that’s where connection happens. That’s when the magic happens – where honesty meets vulnerability through choice of being brave and then connection is born.
That is our ultimate goal. To connect so that we can be seen. To say “here I am” and for others to respond “I see you.”
That is what I want. To be seen. It’s not about likes or having my blog blow up to have a million followers but to just be able to do that brave thing every day of showing up and being myself in this world where everyone is too afraid to do it. And when others see that braveness, I want them to know that it’s ok to be brave too!
As Glennon Doyle Melton creator of Momastery says, “being brave is a decision.” It doesn’t just come out of nowhere, you have to actively make that choice to be brave. And it doesn’t always have to mean going out and doing something outrageous thing. Being brave could be as simple as choosing to be kind in a place where it might be difficult or uncomfortable to show kindness. It may mean admitting that you need help. It may be writing a blog post entry that really sucks but doing it anyway because that’s what you needed to get out today. Doing the brave could saying I’m sorry when you really don’t want to admit that you did wrong. It may mean getting out of bed and trying to do life again despite the challenges that you are currently facing.
There are a ton of ways to be brave, but the difference between being brave and playing it safe is actually showing up instead of hiding in that space of fear.
So I guess I want to be brave today and to reveal that braveness to the world I want to play a little game I made up called “10 brave truths.” I want to reveal 10 brave truths about how I’m deciding to be brave today or just in general.
10 brave truths
- I’m choosing to be brave by writing this blog post, despite really wanting to quit writing anything all together because lately I feel like it’s not making much of an impact and nobody cares.
- I’m choosing to be brave by admitting that I am struggling lately with my self love rituals and not really being as kind as I’d like to be towards myself.
- I’m choosing to be brave by continuing to try to be kind and patient and loving towards myself and others, despite failing numerous times this week because of my own anger and bitterness that I still struggle with.
- I chose to be brave by getting out of bed this morning and not calling in sick to work despite really wanting to hide from the world due to my recent bout of hopelessness and lack of motivation.
- I’m choosing to be brave by admitting that I am struggling and how embarrassed I feel because every single one of these points thus far have been about some sort of struggle making me feel like I am weak, when really I am not.
- I’m choosing to be brave by not listening to my fear, and trying my hardest to build trust with the idea of happiness or rather trying to trust that good things can and will exist in my life.
- I’m choosing to be brave by really trying to choose gratitude over dwelling on what isn’t going right in my life and making a habit of seeing what I have rather than what I lack.
- I’m choosing to be brave by speaking up about my needs to the people that care about me rather than sitting quietly in resentment because my needs aren’t being met.
- I’m choosing to be brave by staying close to God rather than seeking some unhealthy version of a coping mechanism to get me through each day.
- I chose to be brave by picking the path in life that was unknown, that may not have necessarily been easy or conventional, but that ultimately will prove to be more satisfying and authentic.
The Self Love Daily Challenge:
What are your 10 brave truths? Share with me.
P.S. You can follow more from me on my instagram at @The.Self.Love.Challenge or on my facebook page! Thank you!